what shall I say and do to comfort you, I myself feel the need of comfort and sympathy, it is hard very hard for me, I have more to regret than any of you, I feel it deeply

Dear mother you have enough left to love you I feel so much affection for you all, more than ever, I have not been well to day but feel much better tonight I should have written a line this morning but I felt so bad, I wish I could see you Mother I thought last night I must go directly home Charlie is perfectly willing I should go. Mother dear cant you write to me pretty soon it is very hard for me away from you all, but I feel better to night Mother dear Mother I don’t know how to do without seeing you I too want sympathy it was sudden to me [2]X
Hannah is referring to the death of her father. Although he had been ill for three years, his death seemed to take the Whitman family by surprise. If she had known he was near death, Hannah would have returned home; this is why she writes “I have more to regret than any of you, I feel it deeply.” At the funeral, Mother Whitman asked the “babtist” minister to pray for Hannah, that she might have “calmness and resignation”(as cited by Gay Wilson Allen, The Solitary Singer [Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1985], 151–52); this letter from Mother Whitman has been lost.. I have thought to day a little hard of my brothers not thinking of me, it appeared as if they did not think I was one of them, (but I have felt miserable to day and unhappy) I do not feel so now towwards them they have been always so good to me, and I know by myself when one has great greif they cannot think, we came from Bellows Falls [3]X
Bellows Falls, on the banks of the Connecticut River,is in southeast Vermont, and was accessible by railroad in the early 1850s. Heyde’s painting, Bellows Falls from the Bridge, is dated on the back of the painting as 1855; he also painted many versions of Saxtons River, not far from Bellows Falls. See Charles Louis Heyde: Nineteenth–Century Vermont Landscape Painter, ed. Nancy Price Graff and E. Thomas Pierce (Burlington, VT: Robert Hull Fleming Museum, University of Vermont, 2001), 89-90. last monday night View PageFull size in new windowwe have only been away four or five days. We were in Rutland [4]X
Probably the Heydes traveled from Bellows Falls to Rutland, a major stop on the Rutland Railroad, on their way to Clarendon Springs. It is possible that Hannah may not have been contacted right away about her father’s death because of uncertainty about her location. one night and then went to Clarendon Springs [5]X
Clarendon Springs, a small village southwest of Rutland, was known for its natural spring water., it was not pleasant there for me I have written to you dear Mother several long letters and not sent them [6]X
This is possibly the first allusion to the episodes of domestic violence that Hannah would experience for the next four decades; that the abuse coincided with the loss of her father and the difficulties that the Whitman family would face in the next few years was unfortunate, because these circumstances hampered Hannah’s ability to leave Heyde.. I have two now by me that was written two weeks since and one written lately, I never thought so much of you and the rest as I have this time Ive been away from home, I was afraid there was something in the letters about to trouble you was the cause of my not sending them I have not been happy I have had a good deal of trouble or since I have been in the country but I have been pretty well, —Dear Mother are you well I waited untill to night untill I felt better so I would write more rational. I feel for you my mother, I want very much to see you I never felt so much affection for you before & I feel the need of sympathy it is dreadfull for me away from you all you cant immagine but I feel so much better now, I want some of you to write soon I think we shall be here a day or so, soon as we leave I or Charlie will write, I have felt anxious about home for some time, Good night dear Mother write if you feel well enough. —Saturday Morning

Dear Mother I feel better this morning my head is nearly well, I wish I knew how you was – I believeve Charlie has written to you [7]X
This letter also records Hannah’s first reference to the letters that Charles Heyde sent to the Whitman family, in an ongoing attempt to control Hannah’s behavior and to undercut her credibility should she report the abuse she suffered: “he says I have done things I never thought of,” Hannah reports. I have not been the cause of his not writing oftener he says I have done things that I never thought of he has not been kind to me, less so than ever before, ever since I have been here [8]X
The remaining pages of this letter have not been located.